Sunday, December 15, 2013

Psalm 25

In you, Lord my God,
    I put my trust.
I trust in you;
    do not let me be put to shame,
    nor let my enemies triumph over me.
No one who hopes in you
    will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
    who are treacherous without cause.
Show me your ways, Lord,
    teach me your paths.
Guide me in your truth and teach me,
    for you are God my Savior,
    and my hope is in you all day long.
Remember, Lord, your great mercy and love,
    for they are from of old.
Do not remember the sins of my youth
    and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
    for you, Lord, are good.
Good and upright is the Lord;
    therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.
He guides the humble in what is right
    and teaches them his way.
10 All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful
    toward those who keep the demands of his covenant.
11 For the sake of your name, Lord,
    forgive my iniquity, though it is great.
12 Who, then, are those who fear the Lord?
    He will instruct them in the ways they should choose.[b]
13 They will spend their days in prosperity,
    and their descendants will inherit the land.
14 The Lord confides in those who fear him;
    he makes his covenant known to them.
15 My eyes are ever on the Lord,
    for only he will release my feet from the snare.
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me,
    for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 Relieve the troubles of my heart
    and free me from my anguish.
18 Look on my affliction and my distress
    and take away all my sins.
19 See how numerous are my enemies
    and how fiercely they hate me!
20 Guard my life and rescue me;
    do not let me be put to shame,
    for I take refuge in you.
21 May integrity and uprightness protect me,
    because my hope, Lord,[c] is in you.
22 Deliver Israel, O God,
    from all their troubles!

Friday, November 22, 2013

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."

- C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Thursday, November 21, 2013

But you, O God, do see trouble and grief;
you consider it to take it in hand.
The victim commits himself to you;
you are the helper of the fatherless.
Break the arm of the wicked and evil man;
call him to account for his wickedness that would not be found out.

The Lord is King for ever and ever;
the nations will perish from his land.
You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted;
you encourage them, and you listen to their cry,
defending the fatherless and the oppressed,
in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more.
(Psalm 10: 14-18)

Monday, November 18, 2013

You are so blurred!!!!

Sunday, November 10, 2013

God did not call you to keep everyone happy. You are not responsible for other people's happiness; you are responsible to keep yourself happy. - Joel Osteen

God didn't save us from the beasts of the forest yesterday, only to be killed by a giant today. (1 Samuel 17:37)
Silence is the best reply to a fool.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Amazing love, amazing grace, amazing God!

I am so amazed how God has shielded me from pain. The strength I have now is way too "strong" for me. And I just know, it came only from Him.  Amazing strength from an amazing God. Amazing grace from a loving God.

"I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore." (Psalm 131:2-3)

God is a just God. He gives me relief when I am troubled (2 Thessalonians 1:6-7)

And yes, I have peace during the storm. I am joyful in the midst of pain. Because I know my God is bigger than the mountains and the storm. He's got it covered. He has made my inheritance and my destiny secured.

Friday, September 20, 2013

There are scarecrows in the best gardens.
Faith is a bird that loves to perch on scarecrows.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Expectation is the key to faith. If you can see the invisible, God will do the impossible.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Take heart, God is going to show you joy like you've never seen. The spirit of depression and encouragement is being broken. God is going to release a new happiness and passion that you've never experienced before.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

The Snake in my washing machine

Ann suddenly rushed inside the house. She saw a snake coiled inside the washing machine.
Initially, I thought,"oh, if Carlo were here, he would take care of it!" But of course he is miles away.
"Close all windows and doors!"
Then I thought, even when everything is locked, how are we going to deal with that snake tomorrow?
So I went out, hoping that the boys in our neighborhood are still awake.
Then I told Ate Daisy. While we're talking, Alvin and his brother 8 in the evening. They're supposed to be sleeping, they're 14 and 9 years old. They have a class tomorrow! But they were there, right there, asking me if I have some plastic bottles to give them.

Alvin is the ever reliable boy in my neighborhood - he sells balut, chicharon, sayote, collects plastics, and does all stuff just to earn some money he's going to use for school.
So I asked him if he can do some snake stuff. And he does. And he did!!!
He killed the snake, got rid of the snake!

Automatically I thought, wow! God is so on time. His provision is never late.
He has protected us from that snake, and knowing that Ann and I cannot do it, He sent somebody to do it for us. I am so amazed.

Scary night indeed. But what a blessed night too. God is always good.

Sunday, September 01, 2013

What makes a Mom?

Love, strength, and selflessness.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

God never performs His greatest feats in your yesterdays. - Joel Osteen

Monday, August 26, 2013

I made a stand.

I joined the Million People March today.  It was more than the pork barrel that enraged me - the lack of transparency, rent seeking behavior, apathy, and injustice. 

For more than ten years, I worked with the government. And I tell you, most of the government employees I know are committed and honest. Whatever idealism I had when I graduated from college is still the same until the time I resigned from government service five years ago, because I worked with people who stay in the office until 2 in the morning just to get things done, and report for work just the same at 8am, without expecting and receiving any overtime pay.  Supposed to be an 8-5 job, but turned out, the boss can always make you stay until everything gets done, like there is no tomorrow.  But, I cannot also deny the fact that there are irregularities.  

I have seen and experienced how hard it is to lobby funding for training and education.  And you cannot also imagine the time spent for research and planning just to come up with a proposal, only to  be denied and rejected, because it is not part of the priority project. And what was the priority?  

It pains me to see people who are stripped off of their retirement pay because they have to answer and suffer for the fault of others. When in fact, they have worked hard for a good name for years, only to be held accountable for something they did not do because of technicalities. 

It also pains me to see someone go to jail, just because he killed a person in exchange for money just so he can provide for his family, while the mastermind go free.  I cannot understand until now how human rights works, because I experienced first hand how they can protect the rights of the killer more than the family of the victim, and how the latter's family cannot be represented by any lawyer for fear of getting involved.

I am also saddened how the youth can be used to add up to the population of protesters, not knowing what they are really fighting for, but are encouraged to be around because of the promise of extra points. 

Now that I am in the academe, I do not teach my students to hate the government.  But I want to influence them to do the right thing so there will be change, no matter how small it may be. 

And instead of speaking death, it's high time that we start speaking life for the country. 

I am still very hopeful that there is a future for the Philippines, and God's promises will come to pass.  The best is yet to come. 

Make pleasing God your highest priority and all the forces of darkness cannot keep you from your destiny. - Joel Osteen

Monday, August 19, 2013

Stronger: Mandisa

Hey, heard you were up all night
Thinking about how your world ain't right
And you wonder if things will ever get better
And you're asking why is it always raining on you
When all you want is just a little good news
Instead of standing there stuck out in the weather

Oh, don't hand your head
It's gonna end
God's right there
Even if it's hard to see Him
I promise you that He still cares 

When the waves are taking you under 
Hold on just a little bit longer 
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever 
And things can only get better
Believe me

And things can only get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger
Believe me, this is gonna make you...

Try and do the best you can 
Hold on and let Him hold your hand 
And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus 
Oh, lift your head it's gonna end 
God's right there
Even when you just can't feel Him
I promise you that He still cares 

Cause if He started this work in your life 
He will be faithful to complete it
If only you believe it 
He knows how much it hurts 
And I'm sure that He's gonna help you get through this 

When the waves are taking you under 
Hold on just a little bit longer 
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger 
The pain ain't gonna last forever 
In time it's gonna get better
Believe me 
This is gonna make you stronger 

Thursday, August 15, 2013

I am still wearing the smile you gave...
and it's definitely hard to shake it off.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Thank you stranger, you definitely made my confidence and esteem level up to ten times more.

Saturday, August 03, 2013

Of mountains and the ends of the earth...

Then I climbed mountains;
now I'm soaring high like an eagle.
But I will never forget the difficulty I had in climbing those mountains,
for without them, I can never soar high in the sky;
and without them, I wouldn't be able to see the nations.

Monday, July 22, 2013

"Right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing." - Joshua Harris

Ecclesiastes 3:1 To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.

Friday, July 05, 2013

I have only good days and better days

Complaining only delays better days.  But when you praise, God steps in to fight your battles for you. - Joel Osteen

Sunday, June 30, 2013

I have a big challenge.  I have a big destiny.

Monday, June 24, 2013


In my distress I called to the Lord and He answered me.
From the depths of the grave I called for help, and you listened to my cry.
You hurled me into the deep, into the very heart of the seas,
and the currents swirled about me;
all your waves and breakers swept over me, I have been banished from your sight;
yet, I will look again toward your holy temple.
The engulfing waters threatened me
the deep surrounded me;
seaweed was wrapped around my head.  
To the roots of the mountains I sank down;
the earth beneath barred me in forever.
But you brought my life up from the pit, O Lord my God.

When my life was ebbing away, I remembered You Lord,
and my prayer rose to You, to Your holy temple.
Those who cling to worthless idols
forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
But I, with a song of thanksgiving, will sacrifice to you.
What I have vowed, I will make good.
Salvation comes from the Lord.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Fear always tells you what you're not, what you don't have, what you can't do, and what you never will be. (Romans 8:15)

Friday, June 21, 2013

What a pleasant Friday evening it is.  My boys singing their favorite song. =)

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

First day "high"

Officially, I am the most excited mom for June 2013. My two boys are both in school already.  My eldest is in Grade 7, started out great, and my youngest is in nursery.  Today is my Aa's first day in school, and I woke up at 12:35, can't sleep, looking forward to  bringing him to school later. And to top it off, Kuya Rhyss was giving him last minute instructions last night - how he should conduct himself in school, training him how to introduce himself, his meryenda, and the things he will get to see and experience in school. 

That makes me a true blue stage mom, and my Rhyss a certified stage Kuya. 

Monday, May 20, 2013

Aa on our Apayao trip:

Mama, the bus was not cool.
We stayed there too long.

(11 hours)

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Hey diddle, diddle

I first learned to recite the poem when I was 3 or 4.
So I taught my youngest son one night, with all the lights off, on a rainy night...

I recited the poem -

Hey diddle, diddle,
the cat and the fiddle
The cow jumped over the moon
And the little dog laughed to see
such a sport

Me: Ok now, you follow me.
       Hey diddle diddle
Aa: Hey diddle diddle
Me: The cat and the fiddle
Aa: The cat and the fiddle
Me:  The cow jumped over the moon
Aa: (looked bewildered)
Me: The cow jumped over the moon
Aa: Ma, there's no moon, it's raining
Me: Oh, yes, but it's just part of the poem
Aa: (and he really can't say it)
Me: Sige na  baby, the cow jumped over the moon
Aa: Ma, the cow can't jump! It's just eating grass.  It's the horse that jumps

I didn't know a very simple poem can be so complicated .

Stop over and computer games

Mama, why are we here? 
Stop over baby. We go down and eat.
Why? It is where we get some energy?
Then we fill up our ammo? 

Ok, so that does it. No playing computer games when I am not around. 

Thank you Father, for when I am broken You make me whole.

Wednesday, May 08, 2013

"I don't want to be hurt anymore" also means "I don't want to love people." Love requires risk and vulnerability.- Mark Driscoll

Thursday, May 02, 2013

Habakkuk 3:17-19

Though the fig tree does not bud
    and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
    and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
    and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord,    I will be joyful in God my Savior.
The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, 
he enables me to tread on the heights.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Threat is imminent and I just had to protect the one thing that 's important to me. - Tony Starks

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

The scariest thing about distance is you don't know whether they'll miss you or they'll forget about you. - The Notebook
Decide to be a blessing to everyone. Forgive anyone who has hurt you, and leave unresolved circumstances in God's hands. - Joyce Meyer

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Proud mom indeed!

I came home greeted by my 12 year old. 
He washed the dishes, and house is clean. 
This will really land in my journal. 
Can't help being grateful! God You're so good!

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Yes, I feel like a super mom!

It started with my eldest son's Pugad Adventure with me on field. 
He came home with a mug and a key chain. 
Ma, I got this for you.  It was fun there.  Sayang, you and ading were not able to make it.  

Guilty mother syndrome! But yes, I felt like I was in 7th Heaven with his thoughtfulness. 

Hey son, are you proud of me (a question made in jest)? 
Because you are doing everything you can for me and ading (I did not really expect a quite serious reply).

And today, while waiting for my turn in the salon, I asked him to buy an envelope...
Ma, here, I bought two, just in case...
I opened the long brown envelope, and to my surprise, a Mother's Day Card for me!

Kilig much!

Can't help but be grateful how God has given me such wonderful and thoughtful children.  
I feel so rewarded despite all the "am I a failure mom?" lie that kept on playing in my head for how many weeks.  

It really takes grace to be a parent. And thank God for He molding me and teaching me constantly to be the best mom to two wonderful boys. 


If she's amazing, she won't be easy
If she's easy, she won't be amazing
If she's worth it, you won't give up
If you give up, you're not worthy...
Truth is, everybody's going to hurt you
You just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.
- Bob Marley

Friday, April 12, 2013

Marriage is for the humble and forgiving.  It is not for the faint of heart.

Sunday, April 07, 2013

I can't understand why I am seeing leather boots, jackets, and cardigans.
Is it me?
At 33 degrees celsius.
Could it be me?

Thursday, April 04, 2013

Is there really a Miguel Montenegro in reality? 
Perhaps yes, because there is a Zoren Legaspi. 
Can't shake off that oowwie feeling after watching "It takes a Man and a Woman."
And yes, for a while, I was quite wishing I were in the shoes of Laida or Carmina. 
Oh, snap!

Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Why so downcast o my soul
Put your hope in God
and bless the Lord o my soul

Monday, April 01, 2013

"Even when God seemed to have abandoned me, He was watching.
Even when He seemed indifferent to my suffering, He was watching.
And when I was beyond all hopes of saving, He gave me rest.
He gave me a sign to continue my journey." - Life of Pi

Worked today with my children in tow. We all enjoyed just being together. 
Of course not to mention them getting bored while waiting.
But boredom got compensated when we had lunch together at Hebrews Cafe, 
with their favorite adobo meal, not to mention a very good view of the city.  
And yes, my Aaron was so ecstatic about the view.

I am a working mom. And meantime, I am "single." 
And it makes parenting all the more challenging.  
And when my tweener and my toddler would say:
"Thank you Ma, we enjoyed the day!" it really makes me feel like a super mom!

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Aaron holding his blaster gun -
Mama, can I water the trees now?
(We have bonsais)

I just want to be happy is often a very selfish remark, rooting from wanting to receive rather than to give.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

My present situation is not my final destination.
The best is yet to come. This too shall pass.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Sleep is my lover now, my forgetting, my opiate, my oblivion.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Nothing beats the original.

Friday, March 22, 2013

My God is an amazing God!
He is a promise keeper...a faithful God.

Friday, March 15, 2013

My Liwliwa

Preparing for school

Ma, what if the teacher will get mad at me because I am there?
No, nobody will get mad at you because I am the teacher.
Really? You are the teacher?
Like, you also talk in front?
Oh! Wow ma!
(Like he is so amazed)

In class...

He was observing...then asked...
Ma, you're really the teacher here?

Then I asked him to be seated at the back.
While going around for the permits, he called for me quietly
Then he whispered...
Ma, why are you the teacher?
(Like he is really so clueless with what I am doing)

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

God works far more through our brokenness, than through our brilliance.

Thursday, March 07, 2013

God has seen what you have been through...
every tear you've shed...
He knows the disappointment
the heartache you feel
and this is not the end...
It's a new beginning.

- Joel Osteen

Saw this from a friend's post -

Psychologists say:
1) If a person laughs too much,
    Even at stupid things,
    He is lonely deep inside.

2) If a person sleeps a lot,
    He is sad.

3) If a person speaks less,
    But speaks fast,
    He keeps secrets.

4) If someone can't cry,
    He is weak.

5) If someone eats in an abnormal manner,
    He is tensed.

6) If someone cries on little things,
    He is innocent and soft-hearted.

7) If someone becomes angry over silly or petty things,
    It means he needs love.

Sunday, March 03, 2013


Happiness is to knows the Savior,
Living a life within His favor
Having a change in my behavior,
Happiness is the Lord

Happiness is a new creation,
Jesus and me in close relation
Having a part in His salvation,
Happiness is the Lord

Real joy is mine,
no matter if teardrops start
I've found the secret
It's Jesus in my heart

Happiness is to be forgiven,
Living a life that's worth the livin'
Taking a trip that leads to heaven,
Happiness is the Lord
How come, you know so much?
I am so confused.

Saturday, March 02, 2013

There are so many questions left unanswered.
Often, it is so pointless and exhausting searching and waiting for the answers.
Yet, one thing is for sure...
That God knows all things and sees all things.
And I will be content to just see the things that God allows me to at a time
To learn from them and to trust Him fully, even when the answer seems so bleak.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

I can't imagine myself writing a wrong birth date...I must have been too preoccupied...
Potato salad, sparkling wine, and a chitchat with my bees makes my evening so perfect. =)

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

'Tis a new season for me!
God is good!
Face the truth - it can be the beginning of a happier life.

Friday, February 22, 2013

I am always happy meeting a father who knows how important to be with their children as they are growing up. Thank you manong for the inspiration.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Choosing to be happy means living in complete surrender to God's will.
Trust is earned.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

Friday, February 15, 2013

It is better to do what is right rather than to make things right. 
Saying sorry is more difficult than saying thank you.

A place so close to my heart...

Comfort stems from fear of the unknown and fear of failure. We feel safe within its confines, but in reality, comfort is a gilded cage barring us from our true greatness.  When we're not challenging ourselves to be more, we are setting for mediocrity. - Jodi Chapman

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

You can never run away from your past but you have a choice to face it today to find peace in the future. - Chinkee Tan

Monday, February 11, 2013

Love gives; lust gets.
Love waits; lust wants it now. 

Thursday, February 07, 2013

Psalm 84:11

For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
the Lord bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.

Wednesday, February 06, 2013

Will I still see you outside my window?
Dear Ma,

I miss you.


Tuesday, February 05, 2013

It will always boil down to Utility...
and like any other good, the Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility will always apply.

Monday, February 04, 2013

I am blessed indeed!

I have a son who thinks and talks like 40;
and a son who laughs like there is no tomorrow.

Sunday, February 03, 2013

Make the journey and don't quit until you've arrived. - Joyce Meyer

Friday, February 01, 2013

We cannot expect to obtain the eternal when we keep filling ourselves with the temporary.
This is indeed a year of God's favor...a year of breakthroughs.
I now have my very great reward.
I have found my real inheritance.
The blessings are trickling down one by one
Surpassing every challenge. 
I came from battle...and it has been won.  
I have bruises, but unscathed...  
I was protected, was carried with love, shielded by His great love and mercy
I am now robed with new clothes
The old has gone, the new has come. 
A new season is at hand.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

He put a new song in my heart
A song of praise unto my God

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

When is okay not okay;
And when did good become best?
You are never too big of a mess for God to redeem and nothing is beyond His ability to restore. - Joyce Meyer

Buffalo, Buffala, Buffaline.  I miss.
People have power over you, if you are not willing to forgive them for their mistakes.  Forgive, and move on, today. - Chinkee Tan

Monday, January 28, 2013

Facing the truth means going beyond just admitting we've done something wrong; it means not making excuses for that wrong behavior. - Joyce Meyer

Sunday, January 27, 2013

I found out, my eldest is more conservative than I am.
Who are you? Is that you?

Saturday, January 26, 2013

I didn't know, nails can give you such a happy feeling!

Friday, January 25, 2013

Being suspicious causes inner torment and we imagine things that either aren't true or will probably never happen. - Joyce Meyer
Before you ever get a problem, God already has your deliverance planned. - Joyce Meyer
Good morning Aa!
Good morning ma. I love you.
I love you too baby.  Do we have a text?
None pa.  I will text papa ok? So you will have a text.

A!! Why are you calling your Papa?
Ay sorry! Was that Papa's number?

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. - Helen Keller

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Monday, January 21, 2013

Laughter.  Compounding elements.  Coupled with occasional bickering.  Subject and predicate.  Aaron with his "brick game" while waiting for his text. Laughter.  Interview from Liwliwa. Ending the day with bubble safari.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

God has heard your prayers and your answer is on the way.  Your times are in God's hands and He won't be late.

This year is the year of God's favor.  This year will be a year of deliverance.  This year will be a year of breakthroughs.

I may not see it coming yet,  but I know God is working His miracles on my behalf.

I will taste and see that the Lord is good!
Believing God for the best...indeed, He makes everything beautiful in His time.
Manang Kathrine! You always make me feel good! =)
Yabada badooooo!

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Good morning dearest!

Aaron: Ate, can I  borrow your cellphone?
Ate: No, not yet.  Later.
Aaron: (Silently walked away. Went back to the room)

(Door suddenly opened with force)
Me: What is that Aaron?
Aaron:  (Pouting) I'm not handsome.
Me: You are.
Aaron: No!
Me: Why?
Aaron: I'm not handsome than Rhyss.
Me: What? Rhyss is more handsome than you?
Aaron: Yes, Rhyss more handsome than me.

Focusing too much on ourselves makes us incapable of loving others.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Single parenting 101 for a working mom.  It takes grace.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Thank you Lord for my two boys - my liwliwa and my bff
Joy amidst sadness
Security despite being alone
Peace in the midst of turmoil
Gladness in times of despair
Laughter despite tears

God is indeed a promise keeper.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

As a wife, you feel your husband's pain ten times more.

For as long as my children and my husband are happy, I'm okay.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Ngotok ka pay essa. Hahaha.  Sha ay di!
Dear Mama,

I am so proud of you.  You are the smartest wife and mom I have ever known.  Thank you for teaching me by example.  I thank God for your quiet and gentle courage and strength. 

I miss you so much Mama.  I love you.  See  you when I see you. 


Sunday, January 13, 2013

Thank you Lord. I am one day closer to my miracle. 
Thank you Lord. You are a God in and out of seasons.
Thank you Lord. You are sovereign.
Thank you Lord. You make all things beautiful in Your time.
Thank you Lord. There is a time for everything.
Thank you Lord.  You love me so much.
Thank you Lord. You are never against the family.
Thank you Lord. You are God.
Grace is God doing for us what we could never do and what we will never deserve. - Joyce Meyer

Ala ni Daddy makaipakawa!

I was doing my regular grocery when I spotted Fox's candies.  There was a sudden rush of emotion.  I suddenly missed buying them for Daddy.

I was at the condiments section.  I saw a Kikkoman Soy Sauce.  I remembered how he wanted to eat chopsuey.  And as I was listing down the ingredients for Aldrin to buy, he specified we use Kikkoman for the soy. 

Then I remembered how I prayed while I was cooking the chopsuey.  And yes, he liked it!

After the funeral, we prepared for breakfast.  I went to buy bread.  I don't know why, but I wanted to prepare french toast.  After preparing one whole pack of bread french toast, my sister-in-law served it.  Then my brother-in-law came to me in the kitchen - "naimas met diay bread mo Christine." So I replied, "Hehehe. Laylayden et ni Daddy an kagtudi ya." Mama butted in, "Shadi an paborito na si Daddy yu."

How Daddy craved for yema in November when he was in the hospital and very critical.  I really looked for yema and it became known to my friends that Daddy wanted it so badly when they saw me buy all the yema sold by the students. 

I remembered how he discussed with Mama how he wanted to be buried and where.  He didn't like to be buried near the house.  He wanted to be in the cemetery.  Then Mama started to cry.  Then she said, "duwa kayo nga agsau kenni Christine!" And Daddy said, "saan aya nga isuntu met laeng ti papanan tayo amin?" Then he smiled his mischievous smile. 

How Daddy would ask me to pray for him everytime he is in pain or he is not okay. 

Oh Daddy, I am missing you.  I didn't know, and I didn't realize I cared for you like this.  I didn't know I would cry for you, too. 

I miss going to La Trinidad to visit you with my bees. The hospital visits. The sleepovers.  The little chats.  How you would talk to me about how you felt at that time - what pains you so much, what you would like to happen. 

Now, I will no longer be receiving any call from you...asking me what time we are coming.  You just don't know how I felt when you called me up while I was in the middle of a party, asked me whether I am coming or not because your gums are bleeding, you can't eat anything but lugaw.  So I rushed back home, got the blender and brought it to you, only to find out you are very okay, watching tv.  That's when I knew, close na tayo.

Looking back, when Carlo and I was still staying in Bontoc, our weekly visits would include newspapers and bread.  Yes, because you loved reading news and you liked eating bread.

How you appreciated the first time Carlo and I bought a cake on your birthday and told us it was your first time to have a birthday cake.

How you sacrificed your time and finances to see us during the time when things got rough between me and your son.  And how you assured me when you said that he can no longer go back home to you and to Mama if he continues messing up.

Thank you Daddy, for giving me the chance to be part of your family.  Thank you for your respect. Thank you for welcoming me into your family as a daughter.  

Most of all, thank you for giving me a chance to do things for you and to care for you, the same way I would if my Papa were still here.  It was a privilege to serve you, because it was like serving my Papa as well.  It felt good to pamper you, because I hadn't had the chance to pamper my Papa or even took care of him before he died.  Thank you Daddy for treating me as your daughter.

I know you're better now.  You are now walking in streets of gold.  You are now in a place where there is no more pain, no more hurts, no more worries.

I miss you Daddy.  The bees miss you too so much.  Thank you for being a Lolo to them. 

Saturday, January 12, 2013

I will not be afraid of change because it will lead me to a new beginning.
The devil lies.
In fact, the devil doesn't know how to speak the truth.
- Joyce Meyer
Pride is the cousin of denial.
People live in denial because they are proud to admit that they were wrong.

Baguio City is really the home of honest taxi drivers!

This morning was not the first time I left something in a taxi.  I experienced dropping my cellphone and then nada.  It was different today.  The one I left cannot be replaced immediately...the documents of my brother in law that I am supposed to have signed by any of Daddy's doctors.  I was in a rush - from SLU Hospital, to Pines City Hospital, to AMDC and  I was supposed to go back to SLU then to Sto. Nino.

But I stopped first at AMDC, and made a call nearby to BGH.  After making the call, I realized, the documents were missing.  I rushed back to AMDC.  The Security Guard told me, a taxi driver came to return some documents but he returned it just the same because he cannot find Charlton anywhere in the building.  Of course he couldn't! Because he was never in the building.  I got so relieved when he gave me the number and yes, to make the story short, I got the papers back!!!

And yes, Tonton, if you ever get to read this, I almost jeopardized your 15 days vacation.  Thank God for working on my behalf.  And yes, I am so grateful to Rudy Diamas, the taxi driver who returned it.  And yes, I am so grateful I am from this city.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Rhyss and Arnis

Rhyss, are you still going to practice arnis? 
Yes, I will go tomorrow. 
Oh, ok. 
They might say, "nakakuha lang siya ng medal di na siya bumalik. Kumpleto pa naman ang gamit niya, sayang."

Rhyss' newest passion.

His very first competition was in December.

Mama, I am so ashamed na yata.  I am the only one here with a complete family watching me. 
Why, aren't you glad, we're all here to watch you and cheer for you? 
So shameful kaya mama.

Ate, is he representing the school? (My sister asking)
No. I just brought him here because he likes it.
Sino ngay ti coach na? 

And during the fight, his stick fell down (which is a violation...if your stick falls three times, you're out of the game already).  Oh, and yes, I almost shouted, that's okay baby!!!! you can do it!!!  Good thing I was able to restrain myself. Otherwise, I will be banned for a lifetime to watch him play.

And yes, he wants to join the Panagbenga Arnis Competition.  And yes, will support him all the way.  But I can't promise not to be the stage mom that I am.  Anything for my favorite 11 year old boy!
I choose mercy over judgment.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Oh my Aa!

Mama, look at Jesus.  He is locked up.  He can't pass through there is a cup.


Aa, you're so handsome naman! No, I'm not handsome.  You're letting me stay here lang naman. 

Friday, January 04, 2013

When trust is broken, forgiveness is offered instantly by grace; but trust must be re-earned over time.

I'm a sleuth.  I grew up reading Nancy Drew.