I was doing my regular grocery when I spotted Fox's candies. There was a sudden rush of emotion. I suddenly missed buying them for Daddy.
I was at the condiments section. I saw a Kikkoman Soy Sauce. I remembered how he wanted to eat chopsuey. And as I was listing down the ingredients for Aldrin to buy, he specified we use Kikkoman for the soy.
Then I remembered how I prayed while I was cooking the chopsuey. And yes, he liked it!
After the funeral, we prepared for breakfast. I went to buy bread. I don't know why, but I wanted to prepare french toast. After preparing one whole pack of bread french toast, my sister-in-law served it. Then my brother-in-law came to me in the kitchen - "naimas met diay bread mo Christine." So I replied, "Hehehe. Laylayden et ni Daddy an kagtudi ya." Mama butted in, "Shadi an paborito na si Daddy yu."
How Daddy craved for yema in November when he was in the hospital and very critical. I really looked for yema and it became known to my friends that Daddy wanted it so badly when they saw me buy all the yema sold by the students.
I remembered how he discussed with Mama how he wanted to be buried and where. He didn't like to be buried near the house. He wanted to be in the cemetery. Then Mama started to cry. Then she said, "duwa kayo nga agsau kenni Christine!" And Daddy said, "saan aya nga isuntu met laeng ti papanan tayo amin?" Then he smiled his mischievous smile.
How Daddy would ask me to pray for him everytime he is in pain or he is not okay.
Oh Daddy, I am missing you. I didn't know, and I didn't realize I cared for you like this. I didn't know I would cry for you, too.
I miss going to La Trinidad to visit you with my bees. The hospital visits. The sleepovers. The little chats. How you would talk to me about how you felt at that time - what pains you so much, what you would like to happen.
Now, I will no longer be receiving any call from you...asking me what time we are coming. You just don't know how I felt when you called me up while I was in the middle of a party, asked me whether I am coming or not because your gums are bleeding, you can't eat anything but lugaw. So I rushed back home, got the blender and brought it to you, only to find out you are very okay, watching tv. That's when I knew, close na tayo.
Looking back, when Carlo and I was still staying in Bontoc, our weekly visits would include newspapers and bread. Yes, because you loved reading news and you liked eating bread.
How you appreciated the first time Carlo and I bought a cake on your birthday and told us it was your first time to have a birthday cake.
How you sacrificed your time and finances to see us during the time when things got rough between me and your son. And how you assured me when you said that he can no longer go back home to you and to Mama if he continues messing up.
Thank you Daddy, for giving me the chance to be part of your family. Thank you for your respect. Thank you for welcoming me into your family as a daughter.
Most of all, thank you for giving me a chance to do things for you and to care for you, the same way I would if my Papa were still here. It was a privilege to serve you, because it was like serving my Papa as well. It felt good to pamper you, because I hadn't had the chance to pamper my Papa or even took care of him before he died. Thank you Daddy for treating me as your daughter.
I know you're better now. You are now walking in streets of gold. You are now in a place where there is no more pain, no more hurts, no more worries.
I miss you Daddy. The bees miss you too so much. Thank you for being a Lolo to them.