Tuesday, December 28, 2004


Grafted. That is what my husband is to my family and that is what I am to his family. It's never easy to really be a part of another family. They may be civil, but you're not sure whether you're really accepted as part of the family. It's not easy. Never easy. More on the part of the one who belongs to that certain family. He always stands on the edge. Never wanting to hurt anyone. Always wanting for the other to belong. It needs nurturing...years to really grow and mature.

I am always sensitive to everything. I have seen my husband go through it (and still is going through it). I have experienced going through it. Our only difference perhaps is I know how to speak up and I am more sensitive.

Grafted. That's what will be to my sister's boyfriend. I did not make life hard for him. I went out of my way to befriend him. I went out of my way to let him feel he is accepted even if he was more aloof than friendly. I love my sister very much that's why. And I know, he completes her. So I have to accept him even if it was hard for me to do it. I learned to care for him. I tried hard to be friendly...to be close. I always wanted mine and my sister's relationship to grow, our closeness to stay and our love for each other to grow. That's why, whomever she chooses, I accept. Because I know fully well that not accepting the very person she chose to love and marry will not make her feel good (or devastate her?)

Grafted. That's what my Mom is to my Dad's family. It was only in my twenty's that I fully realized what my Mom went through to gain acceptance. And it took her almost 20 years to achieve that. She never said anything. Never complained. Never showed disrespect. She stood firm. More because she loves me and my sister that she wanted everything to be perfect in our eyes.

Grafted. That's what my Dad is to my Mom's family. He was never hard up in winning their love and respect. More because he knows pakikisama (I guess). I've never seen anything untoward...well, he's lucky. He's blessed.

Grafted. I don't really know where the boundary lies. If there is a certain limit. If one has to say stop. If one has to say enough.

Well, when you love, you never stop loving...

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

These are a few of my favorite things...

(in random order)

1. Watching Mulan with Rhyss
2. Watching Friends with Rianne & Rhyss
3. Dining out with Carlo
4. Shopping with my Mom
5. Twisted by Jessica Zafra
6. Pinapaitan & dinuguan of Auntie Edna
7. Ginataang palaka of Auntie Edna
8. Reading Midland Courier
9. Polvoron of Goldilocks
10. Blueberry cheesecake of Red Ribbon
11. Salad
12. Eating out with Lorie and Ate Marife

I miss my dad!

Christmas is the time of the year where I am always reminded of my Papa...it's the time of year where his absence is sorely felt. Add to it the effect of FPJ's funeral this morning. I kind of remembered how it was on April 16, 1998!

For 20 years in my life, he was always there to remind me of the activities on the day I was born...how he was fixing the windows while Mama was having her labor.

...how he would wake me up in the morning and greet me happy birthday and then go on with his monolog.

Six years...I still miss him very much. And I know, his memories will live on. He's my dad!