Sunday, March 30, 2008

My God is a God in and out of seasons...

I have been through a lot already...and like what my Auntie Raquel told me, I'm "getting older" fastforward. I can't still imagine myself coping and getting through this. I believe if it weren't for God's grace and mercy, I wouldn't be standing now. I could have died with grief. I would have been overcome with sorrow. My ate Kit was so right when she told me, "our God is a God of seasons, He will see you through in every season."

Battle after battle, problem after problems...but God is good. I have seen His goodness all the time. And everytime circumstances come which are for me, unsurmountable, it is God's enabling grace that pulls me through.

God is building my character. He is showing me that I can't hold on to anyone and anything. Only God can complete me. Only God can make me whole. Not my Papa, not my Mom, not Lolo Kito, not Lola Febe, not Rianne, not Rhyss, and not even Carlo. Only God can give me peace and joy. Not my friends, not my church, not my work, not even Carlo's loyalty and love.

I've been in pain for quite sometime. I am hurting. But God always sustains me. The best thing I learned....?

Things here on earth are fleeting. They are just temporary. It's meaningless.
What matters is what lies ahead. What's in store for me when God will say, "Come home my child".

Yes, I have cried so much...much more than I had ever cried in my 30 years of existence. Yes, I have asked God to take all these away from me, I am getting worn out...but I know, God will always make me emerge victorious. My Father has gone before me. He has equipt me to win this battle. I thank God for I am no longer fighting for victory...Jesus won the battle for me. And all I need to do now is claim my inheritance.

Yes indeed...these shall all pass. I thank God for I wasn't only called, but chosen. I will be joyful in affliction because I look forward to what God has in store for me. I am His...and I know that He loves me so much.

What would you do if...?

Move on.
Have Faith.

Thank you God for I am more than what the eyes can see.
Thank you God for I am special.
Thank you for only in You can I find my security.
Thank you for only You can complete me and make me whole.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

No matter how rough the road may be, God always go before us, and always prepares us for the inevitable. A time for purging. Our God is a God in and out of seasons.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Family is...

Papa Carlo, Mama Kit, and son Rhyss.

Nobody calls my husband Daddy. Nobody calls herself Mommy.

Only Rhyss, Carlo and Me.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Holy Week

Holy week. We're not going home.
I'm not looking forward to going home.
I'm sad. I want to sulk at home.

I miss Lolo Kito. I miss Lola Febe.
I miss Papa. I miss Mama.

I miss spending time with them.
I simply miss them...

To be a wife...

Lord, thank you for my inheritance is a sweet and happy marriage. Thank you for you are the third strand in our marriage.

Thank you for you allowed Carlo and I to grow in you. Thank you for not allowing anything to destroy our marriage. Thank you for instilling in us the right fear in you. Thank you Father for the joy that you have given. Thank you for you reign supreme and sovereign over and above our marriage.

Give us the grace to walk with you, to be faithful to you, to love you with all our hearts. I pray that you will always be number one in our hearts. Only you can complete us Lord God. I pray that Rhyss will grow up seeing us love each other more.

Lord, help me to be always the wife you described in Proverbs 31:10-12. Help me be a crown to my husband's head, and a garland around the neck of my son.

Give me the grace to always stand by my husband, to faithfully pray for him and to see him in the eyes of faith. Yes, I will not let the enemy gain a foothold into our marriage. I will not allow anything to destroy my marriage. I will not stand by and watch my husband be wearied, beaten down, or destroyed. I will not sit idle while an invisible wall goes up between us. I will not allow confusion, miscommunication, wrong attitudes, and bad choices to erode what we are trying to build together. I will not tolerate hurt and unforgiveness that will lead us to separate. Lord I believe that we can take a stand against any negative influences in our marriage and know that You, O God, has given us authority in Your Name to back it up.
Thank you Lord for you are our God.

Yes God, I will obey and be the wife you want me to be.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Dear Mama,

I miss you more everyday. I know you are in a place where there's no more crying, no more problems, no more issues. I believe you are enjoying (such an understatement I guess) every second. I am just so glad you are happy now.

I always thank God for you Mama...and thank you for being such a wonderful Mom.

Until now, I am still awed at your strength and wisdom.

I've been through so much pain but your memory keeps me going. Thank you for you shared your life to me. Thank you for being such a wonderful Mom. Thank you for always telling me to be happy...problems come and go and I should not be defeated by my own worries. You had much more troubles than I, more problems than I had...but you were always strong. I have never seen you cry.

I miss you so much Mama...

Love you always,


Sunday, March 02, 2008

Proverbs 31:10-12

Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.