I have been through a lot already...and like what my Auntie Raquel told me, I'm "getting older" fastforward. I can't still imagine myself coping and getting through this. I believe if it weren't for God's grace and mercy, I wouldn't be standing now. I could have died with grief. I would have been overcome with sorrow. My ate Kit was so right when she told me, "our God is a God of seasons, He will see you through in every season."
Battle after battle, problem after problems...but God is good. I have seen His goodness all the time. And everytime circumstances come which are for me, unsurmountable, it is God's enabling grace that pulls me through.
God is building my character. He is showing me that I can't hold on to anyone and anything. Only God can complete me. Only God can make me whole. Not my Papa, not my Mom, not Lolo Kito, not Lola Febe, not Rianne, not Rhyss, and not even Carlo. Only God can give me peace and joy. Not my friends, not my church, not my work, not even Carlo's loyalty and love.
I've been in pain for quite sometime. I am hurting. But God always sustains me. The best thing I learned....?
Things here on earth are fleeting. They are just temporary. It's meaningless.
What matters is what lies ahead. What's in store for me when God will say, "Come home my child".
Yes, I have cried so much...much more than I had ever cried in my 30 years of existence. Yes, I have asked God to take all these away from me, I am getting worn out...but I know, God will always make me emerge victorious. My Father has gone before me. He has equipt me to win this battle. I thank God for I am no longer fighting for victory...Jesus won the battle for me. And all I need to do now is claim my inheritance.
Yes indeed...these shall all pass. I thank God for I wasn't only called, but chosen. I will be joyful in affliction because I look forward to what God has in store for me. I am His...and I know that He loves me so much.