Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Grafted

Grafted. That is what my husband is to my family and that is what I am to his family. It's never easy to really be a part of another family. They may be civil, but you're not sure whether you're really accepted as part of the family. It's not easy. Never easy. More on the part of the one who belongs to that certain family. He always stands on the edge. Never wanting to hurt anyone. Always wanting for the other to belong. It needs nurturing...years to really grow and mature.

I am always sensitive to everything. I have seen my husband go through it (and still is going through it). I have experienced going through it. Our only difference perhaps is I know how to speak up and I am more sensitive.

Grafted. That's what will be to my sister's boyfriend. I did not make life hard for him. I went out of my way to befriend him. I went out of my way to let him feel he is accepted even if he was more aloof than friendly. I love my sister very much that's why. And I know, he completes her. So I have to accept him even if it was hard for me to do it. I learned to care for him. I tried hard to be friendly...to be close. I always wanted mine and my sister's relationship to grow, our closeness to stay and our love for each other to grow. That's why, whomever she chooses, I accept. Because I know fully well that not accepting the very person she chose to love and marry will not make her feel good (or devastate her?)

Grafted. That's what my Mom is to my Dad's family. It was only in my twenty's that I fully realized what my Mom went through to gain acceptance. And it took her almost 20 years to achieve that. She never said anything. Never complained. Never showed disrespect. She stood firm. More because she loves me and my sister that she wanted everything to be perfect in our eyes.

Grafted. That's what my Dad is to my Mom's family. He was never hard up in winning their love and respect. More because he knows pakikisama (I guess). I've never seen anything untoward...well, he's lucky. He's blessed.

Grafted. I don't really know where the boundary lies. If there is a certain limit. If one has to say stop. If one has to say enough.

Well, when you love, you never stop loving...




3 comments:

she here!!! said...

hi...

oh boy, do i understand how you feel!!!

esp. with that boyfriend of your sister..what you did and what you are still trying to do? i've done it with my bro-in-law..still, look where it got me?

i dunno, sometimes,even if you really try hard to accept and "connect" with someone whom you know will eventually become part of your life or already a part of your life, accepting them and them accepting you will take a very long period of time sometimes you feel like you wanna give up..

oh, well, thats life...

Rianne said...

And I know, he completes her. --

No. He does not complete me and neither do i complete him. Actually, we are complete in ourselves. However, we choose to stay together even if we don't need each other. I guess that's what love means.

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