It's been a while. I've been thinking a lot lately, and so into the things I so love to do. A friend said, I am too busy. And she posed a question that continues to echo in my ears: are you really leaving, or you are in denial that you are going?

There may be some truth to the latter. But I am just so excited to have my family whole again.

I thank God for all the memories we've shared

I am more than grateful, He allowed us to create too many of them, 

and you gave me too much to remember. 

Thank you for unselfishly sharing your time, your emotions, your love

to create those memories with me

You were always like a sister to me, the ate I never had

We have a language all on our own, 

and I was never ashamed of pouring out my heart to you.

I thank you for all those times you trusted me and for really 

being a friend and a sister

Losing you was just like losing my parents before

It is painful, but I have to let you go...

I know you are now dancing in streets of gold

Singing praises and dancing with joy

You have always told me that the chief end of man is to glorify God

and you did that in everything you do.

Thank you so much for being so much a part of my life, my boys, and my sister

I will never forget how you rushed to my side when I lost my Mom in a very tragic manner

because it was your birthday, and you chose to stay with me and my sister

You were always mindful, caring, and loving

putting others first before you

and even in your death, you were always mindful...

Thank you for loving me so much ate Marife

I may not be able to receive texts, happy birthdays, and merry Christmases from you anymore

We may not be able to spend hours talking anymore

but you have given me new family and friends - your siblings, your best friend

and they were all how you described them to me

Thank you for allowing me to be part of your world

for always being there...

You will always be one of my greatest blessings

You will always be one of my fondest memories

You will always be one of the best friends I've ever had.

I am commanded to love everyone, not condemn those who do not agree with me.

My opinions are just that, - opinions, regardless of where I got them from.  They are tiny, a speck compared to the immensity of God.  I cannot possibly have even the faintest idea of what God commands to other people. My only possible intelligent choice is to continuously open in love and acceptance. Today more than yesterday.

Then God reminded me the difference between happiness and joy.

Mentoring 101

A good coach won’t bring to you talent you don’t have, but he or she will help draw to the surface what may be dormant within you. – Jeff Caliguire

I always had a burning desire to reach out to the youth, and a passion to impact their lives positively. One of the few reasons I had when I jumped ship to the academe.

It is not the first time I took on the job of advising an organization. But this is the first time I worked with students who are very much willing to learn, excited to discover new things, and equates busy with challenge. I have never seen a group so committed they are willing to forego their own personal leisure just to get things done.

Values towards work is learned and acquired early on. We usually learn from our parents, or anyone, who, in a way or the other, become our first role model.

My personal mantra is that, I want to work with people who have the same degree of commitment that I have, with the same values, working on the things I believe in. I was always blessed to be part of a team, and learned from committed and dedicated individuals, who do not have “tired” and “hungry” in their vocabulary.  Having worked for more than ten years with the government, my experience redefined and refocused my respect towards government employees because I have seen them work hard to meet goals and deadlines, with the end in view of providing quality service. 

I was always the youngest in the team. And I was always drawn to friends who are several years older than I am. Now, I am the oldest in the team, and it is the first time I am seriously working with young people, teenagers with different personalities. 

Looking at the organization I am currently working with, they are way more mature than their age. Quite a revelation, because they used to be my students too; and looking at them now, I am rediscovering them in a different light. Their being so focused and committed towards work, is a far cry from who they were in my classroom.

Yes, I am so blessed and proud to work with them.  I am more than glad to have taken on the challenge, because I have not seen a group so determined, so focused, and so teachable.

It is my first time to really mentor full time. It fuels me to do more. Indeed, “he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.”

The Leaders’ Convergence that included a talk from Dr. Kit Bonnet on Stewardship and Advising, inspired me to really be more focused.  What inspired me more is that, beyond the warm glow of helping them achieve their purpose, they can actually be impacted for the rest of their lives. And yes, it isn't all fun, but there are complications too. 

Advising can be seen as a thankless job – no overtime pay, no deloading, extra work, plus the dynamics of the team. Yet, I never thought about it. I was just too eager to take on the challenge, perhaps because, I was once like them.   

The heart of mentoring is being able to hone our mentees and advisees to be better than we are, achieving greater than what we were able to achieve. They are not our competition, not even our slaves or workers. They are placed under our care to nurture. We work together, stand by them.  A mentor or a coach, of course, can never bring about a talent that they do not have, but a good one will help draw to the surface what may be dormant in them. Mentoring is more familial rather than hierarchical. An organization must foster a caring and nurturing environment to facilitate learning. 

One thing I discovered, not everybody wants to be mentored. There are those who are very willing to be mentored, they absorb like sponge. You see them grow.   There are also those you want to mentor, but are not willing. One thing I have proven time and time again, leadership and the willingness to learn is not at all about IQ or high grades. But it is more of humility, EQ, and the heart to serve others.

I wait in expectation as they tread on the same path I have treaded.  It is always a delight to see them accomplish what I have accomplished when I was older, and that is enough reason for me to be excited and be happy for them. I am confident that when they finally are on their own, they have the right attitude and the right character towards work, and they will never be overwhelmed by gargantuan responsibilities. I wait in expectation as they win their own battles, better than I did when I was their age.  

The returns are implicit. It cannot be equated with any monetary benefit. If I have to put it theoretically, the utility is unbounded and the intrinsic value, based on a future series of dividends grow at a constant rate in perpetuity. Because investing so much time and effort, and a whole lot of emotions into a group of individuals not your own just to make things happen for them, is already a seed being planted.  And I guess, no matter how little we impact the lives of others, there will always be a multiplier effect.  

It was a tough and bumpy ride.   Fifteen years of a roller coaster ride.  It was all worth it.
God is indeed the third strand. 

I am in awe of God's faithfulness
He has prepared us so well for this season
Though I remember the betrayal, the hurt, the pain, the tears
They are but part of my battle scars now.
God is amazingly good!

Things I learned over the weekend

1. Humility always is the last weapon.
2. Build bridges rather than burn them.
3. God is sooo faithful.
4. I have waited this long, I can wait for a few more months.
5. God honors faith.
6. God is the God in and out of seasons. No matter what the season, He is always ahead.

The true brand of leadership is taking responsibility and accountability....definitely not blame shifting and weaving lies just to save face.

I am always fascinated with the changing seasons

And all the more fascinated with the colors of fall

Excite me more. Surprise me. 

Let me be prepared for the next season. 

Ma, Aaron wrote on Tita Daisy's wall. Even outside of our door.
Aaron, why did you do that? You have to clean those!
Ma, I'm sorry. My whiteboard is too small na kasi e.

When we start forgiving, we choose mercy over justice. We trust God that He is sovereign.  We trust Him to fight our battles.  And when we choose to forgive, we break the chain of ungrace, releasing us from bitterness, hatred and anger.

If you cannot be honest with verifiable facts, what else can you be honest about? How unprofessional can a professional be?

I am getting ready, I am getting excited.
There should be no room for fear and doubt.
It may not be exactly what I expected it to be
But I know I am getting there.
It's a new season!

I just watch in dismay as the filing of candidacy becomes more of a circus rather than a formal declaration of intention to serve the nation.

Forgiveness is achingly difficult, and long after you've forgiven, the wound lives on in memory.  Forgiveness is an unnatural act.  I never find forgiveness easy.  Nagging injustices remain, and the wounds still cause pain.  I have to approach God again and again, yielding to him the residue of what I thought I have committed to him long ago...God forgives my debts as I forgive my debtor...only by living in the stream of God's grace will I find the strength to respond with grace towards others. (Philip Yancey, What's so Amazing About Grace)

You are not defined by your past; you are prepared by your past. You may have encountered some great obstacles...it's because God has a great future in front of you.

I love surprises!

My teenager asked, "Mama, did Papa ever surprise you?"

I paused. I could have blurted out, YES! But I didn't, because I have to look back at the many instances my husband did. 

Before we got married, he surprised me with his presence on my birthday. That was totally unexpected because he has given up spending Christmas with his family and chose to spend it with me. 

The little surprises he gave - flowers under his sleeve or on top of our closet, chocolates waiting for me elsewhere in the house, a letter (which he seldom gives). It's the little things really that I enjoy the most. 

And of course, the Valentine's date we've had before he left to work abroad. 

I guess, my children took after him. My boys are the sweetest. They too are full of surprises. It is always a delight coming home to them. Sometimes, I get a candlelight dinner prepared by my teen, my clothes prepared by my toddler. A letter tucked in my bag. Sometimes toys secretly placed inside my bag which eventually gives me a smile when I discover them later on.

It's the little things that makes a memory. And it's the little surprises that creates so much memories. 

Guilty mother syndrome

My 6-year old this morning was insisting for me to be on time to get him at exactly 3:00pm. I told him I am sorry I can't make it on time, because of a meeting.  He then blurted out - "When my papa calls, can I tell him to let you stop working already?"

What drives me?

I am fueled by my passion to reach out to the next generation. To be an example, and to influence them to honor Christ, and walk in obedience to His will. To pursue excellence and not mediocrity.

I get excited with the fact that they will be the new breed of leaders.  They will not only be sitting in the sidelines, and watch with apathy.  My prayer is that they will pursue excellence and actively take part and fulfill their roles in society, for them to do what they are called to do.

Yes, I have a choice not to exert extra effort and just quietly relax in the sidelines. But that is not what I am called to do. When God widened my sphere of influence, I know that there is more to do rather than just deliver my lectures day after day.

I may not be able to reach out to everyone, but one youth at a time, can make a lot of difference.