God has seen what you have been through...
every tear you've shed...
He knows the disappointment
the heartache you feel
and this is not the end...
It's a new beginning.

- Joel Osteen

Saw this from a friend's post -

Psychologists say:
1) If a person laughs too much,
    Even at stupid things,
    He is lonely deep inside.

2) If a person sleeps a lot,
    He is sad.

3) If a person speaks less,
    But speaks fast,
    He keeps secrets.

4) If someone can't cry,
    He is weak.

5) If someone eats in an abnormal manner,
    He is tensed.

6) If someone cries on little things,
    He is innocent and soft-hearted.

7) If someone becomes angry over silly or petty things,
    It means he needs love.

Happiness

Happiness is to knows the Savior,
Living a life within His favor
Having a change in my behavior,
Happiness is the Lord

Happiness is a new creation,
Jesus and me in close relation
Having a part in His salvation,
Happiness is the Lord

Real joy is mine,
no matter if teardrops start
I've found the secret
It's Jesus in my heart

Happiness is to be forgiven,
Living a life that's worth the livin'
Taking a trip that leads to heaven,
Happiness is the Lord

How come, you know so much?

I am so confused.

There are so many questions left unanswered.
Often, it is so pointless and exhausting searching and waiting for the answers.
Yet, one thing is for sure...
That God knows all things and sees all things.
And I will be content to just see the things that God allows me to see...one at a time
To learn from them and to trust Him fully, even when the answer seems so bleak.

I can't imagine myself writing a wrong birth date...I must have been too preoccupied...

Potato salad, sparkling wine, and a chitchat with my bees makes my evening so perfect. =)

'Tis a new season for me!
God is good!

Face the truth - it can be the beginning of a happier life.

I am always happy meeting a father who knows how important to be with their children as they are growing up. Thank you manong for the inspiration.

Choosing to be happy means living in complete surrender to God's will.

Trust is earned.

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

It is better to do what is right rather than to make things right. 
Saying sorry is more difficult than saying thank you.

A place so close to my heart...

Comfort stems from fear of the unknown and fear of failure. We feel safe within its confines, but in reality, comfort is a gilded cage barring us from our true greatness.  When we're not challenging ourselves to be more, we are setting for mediocrity. - Jodi Chapman

You can never run away from your past but you have a choice to face it today to find peace in the future. - Chinkee Tan

Love gives; lust gets.

Love waits; lust wants it now. 

Psalm 84:11

For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
the Lord bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.

Will I still see you outside my window?

Dear Ma,

I miss you.

Me

It will always boil down to Utility...
and like any other good, the Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility will always apply.

I am blessed indeed!

I have a son who thinks and talks like 40;
and a son who laughs like there is no tomorrow.

Make the journey and don't quit until you've arrived. - Joyce Meyer

We cannot expect to obtain the eternal when we keep filling ourselves with the temporary.

This is indeed a year of God's favor...a year of breakthroughs.

I now have my very great reward.

I have found my real treasure...my inheritance.

The blessings are trickling down one by one

Surpassing every challenge. 

I came from battle...and it has been won.  

I have bruises, but unscathed...  

I was protected, was carried with love, shielded by His great love and mercy

I am now robed with new clothes

The old has gone, the new has come. 

A new season is at hand.

He put a new song in my heart
A song of praise unto my God

When is okay not okay;
And when did good become best?

You are never too big of a mess for God to redeem and nothing is beyond His ability to restore. - Joyce Meyer

Buffalo, Buffala, Buffaline.  I miss.

People have power over you, if you are not willing to forgive them for their mistakes.  Forgive, and move on, today. - Chinkee Tan

Facing the truth means going beyond just admitting we've done something wrong; it means not making excuses for that wrong behavior. - Joyce Meyer

I found out, my eldest is more conservative than I am.

Who are you? Is that you?

I didn't know, nails can give you such a happy feeling!

Being suspicious causes inner torment and we imagine things that either aren't true or will probably never happen. - Joyce Meyer

Before you ever get a problem, God already has your deliverance planned. - Joyce Meyer

Good morning Aa!
Good morning ma. I love you.
I love you too baby.  Do we have a text?
None pa.  I will text papa ok? So you will have a text.
Ok.

A!! Why are you calling your Papa?
Ay sorry! Was that Papa's number?

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. - Helen Keller

I miss...

Excited.

Laughter.  Compounding elements.  Coupled with occasional bickering.  Subject and predicate.  Aaron with his "brick game" while waiting for his text. Laughter.  Interview from Liwliwa. Ending the day with bubble safari.

God has heard your prayers and your answer is on the way.  Your times are in God's hands and He won't be late.

This year is the year of God's favor.  This year will be a year of deliverance.  This year will be a year of breakthroughs.

I may not see it coming yet,  but I know God is working His miracles on my behalf.

I will taste and see that the Lord is good!

Believing God for the best...indeed, He makes everything beautiful in His time.

Manang Kathrine! You always make me feel good! =)

Yabada badooooo!

Good morning dearest!

6:00am
Aaron: Ate, can I  borrow your cellphone?
Ate: No, not yet.  Later.
Aaron: (Silently walked away. Went back to the room)

(Door suddenly opened with force)
Me: What is that Aaron?
Aaron:  (Pouting) I'm not handsome.
Me: You are.
Aaron: No!
Me: Why?
Aaron: I'm not handsome than Rhyss.
Me: What? Rhyss is more handsome than you?
Aaron: Yes, Rhyss more handsome than me.

   

Focusing too much on ourselves makes us incapable of loving others.

Single parenting 101 for a working mom.  It takes grace.

Thank you Lord for my two boys - my liwliwa and my bff

Joy amidst sadness
Security despite being alone
Peace in the midst of turmoil
Gladness in times of despair
Laughter despite tears

God is indeed a promise keeper.

As a wife, you feel your husband's pain ten times more.

For as long as my children and my husband are happy, I'm okay.

Ngotok ka pay essa. Hahaha.  Sha ay di!

Dear Mama,

I am so proud of you.  You are the smartest wife and mom I have ever known.  Thank you for teaching me by example.  I thank God for your quiet and gentle courage and strength. 

I miss you so much Mama.  I love you.  See  you when I see you. 

Christine

Thank you Lord. I am one day closer to my miracle. 
Thank you Lord. You are a God in and out of seasons.
Thank you Lord. You are sovereign.
Thank you Lord. You make all things beautiful in Your time.
Thank you Lord. There is a time for everything.
Thank you Lord.  You love me so much.
Thank you Lord. You are never against the family.
Thank you Lord. You are God.

Grace is God doing for us what we could never do and what we will never deserve. - Joyce Meyer

Ala ni Daddy makaipakawa!

I was doing my regular grocery when I spotted Fox's candies.  There was a sudden rush of emotion.  I suddenly missed buying them for Daddy.

I was at the condiments section.  I saw a Kikkoman Soy Sauce.  I remembered how he wanted to eat chopsuey.  And as I was listing down the ingredients for Aldrin to buy, he specified we use Kikkoman for the soy. 

Then I remembered how I prayed while I was cooking the chopsuey.  And yes, he liked it!

After the funeral, we prepared for breakfast.  I went to buy bread.  I don't know why, but I wanted to prepare french toast.  After preparing one whole pack of bread french toast, my sister-in-law served it.  Then my brother-in-law came to me in the kitchen - "naimas met diay bread mo Christine." So I replied, "Hehehe. Laylayden et ni Daddy an kagtudi ya." Mama butted in, "Shadi an paborito na si Daddy yu."

How Daddy craved for yema in November when he was in the hospital and very critical.  I really looked for yema and it became known to my friends that Daddy wanted it so badly when they saw me buy all the yema sold by the students. 

I remembered how he discussed with Mama how he wanted to be buried and where.  He didn't like to be buried near the house.  He wanted to be in the cemetery.  Then Mama started to cry.  Then she said, "duwa kayo nga agsau kenni Christine!" And Daddy said, "saan aya nga isuntu met laeng ti papanan tayo amin?" Then he smiled his mischievous smile. 

How Daddy would ask me to pray for him everytime he is in pain or he is not okay. 

Oh Daddy, I am missing you.  I didn't know, and I didn't realize I cared for you like this.  I didn't know I would cry for you, too. 

I miss going to La Trinidad to visit you with my bees. The hospital visits. The sleepovers.  The little chats.  How you would talk to me about how you felt at that time - what pains you so much, what you would like to happen. 

Now, I will no longer be receiving any call from you...asking me what time we are coming.  You just don't know how I felt when you called me up while I was in the middle of a party, asked me whether I am coming or not because your gums are bleeding, you can't eat anything but lugaw.  So I rushed back home, got the blender and brought it to you, only to find out you are very okay, watching tv.  That's when I knew, close na tayo.

Looking back, when Carlo and I was still staying in Bontoc, our weekly visits would include newspapers and bread.  Yes, because you loved reading news and you liked eating bread.

How you appreciated the first time Carlo and I bought a cake on your birthday and told us it was your first time to have a birthday cake.

How you sacrificed your time and finances to see us during the time when things got rough between me and your son.  And how you assured me when you said that he can no longer go back home to you and to Mama if he continues messing up.

Thank you Daddy, for giving me the chance to be part of your family.  Thank you for your respect. Thank you for welcoming me into your family as a daughter.  

Most of all, thank you for giving me a chance to do things for you and to care for you, the same way I would if my Papa were still here.  It was a privilege to serve you, because it was like serving my Papa as well.  It felt good to pamper you, because I hadn't had the chance to pamper my Papa or even took care of him before he died.  Thank you Daddy for treating me as your daughter.

I know you're better now.  You are now walking in streets of gold.  You are now in a place where there is no more pain, no more hurts, no more worries.

I miss you Daddy.  The bees miss you too so much.  Thank you for being a Lolo to them. 

I will not be afraid of change because it will lead me to a new beginning.

The devil lies.
In fact, the devil doesn't know how to speak the truth.
- Joyce Meyer

Pride is the cousin of denial.
People live in denial because they are proud to admit that they were wrong.

Baguio City is really the home of honest taxi drivers!

This morning was not the first time I left something in a taxi.  I experienced dropping my cellphone and then nada.  It was different today.  The one I left cannot be replaced immediately...the documents of my brother in law that I am supposed to have signed by any of Daddy's doctors.  I was in a rush - from SLU Hospital, to Pines City Hospital, to AMDC and  I was supposed to go back to SLU then to Sto. Nino.

But I stopped first at AMDC, and made a call nearby to BGH.  After making the call, I realized, the documents were missing.  I rushed back to AMDC.  The Security Guard told me, a taxi driver came to return some documents but he returned it just the same because he cannot find Charlton anywhere in the building.  Of course he couldn't! Because he was never in the building.  I got so relieved when he gave me the number and yes, to make the story short, I got the papers back!!!

And yes, Tonton, if you ever get to read this, I almost jeopardized your 15 days vacation.  Thank God for working on my behalf.  And yes, I am so grateful to Rudy Diamas, the taxi driver who returned it.  And yes, I am so grateful I am from this city.

Rhyss and Arnis

Rhyss, are you still going to practice arnis? 
Yes, I will go tomorrow. 
Oh, ok. 
They might say, "nakakuha lang siya ng medal di na siya bumalik. Kumpleto pa naman ang gamit niya, sayang."

Rhyss' newest passion.

His very first competition was in December.

Mama, I am so ashamed na yata.  I am the only one here with a complete family watching me. 
Why, aren't you glad, we're all here to watch you and cheer for you? 
So shameful kaya mama.

Ate, is he representing the school? (My sister asking)
No. I just brought him here because he likes it.
Sino ngay ti coach na? 
Me.

And during the fight, his stick fell down (which is a violation...if your stick falls three times, you're out of the game already).  Oh, and yes, I almost shouted, that's okay baby!!!! you can do it!!!  Good thing I was able to restrain myself. Otherwise, I will be banned for a lifetime to watch him play.


And yes, he wants to join the Panagbenga Arnis Competition.  And yes, will support him all the way.  But I can't promise not to be the stage mom that I am.  Anything for my favorite 11 year old boy!

I choose mercy over judgment.

Oh my Aa!

Mama, look at Jesus.  He is locked up.  He can't pass through there is a cup.

******

Aa, you're so handsome naman! No, I'm not handsome.  You're letting me stay here lang naman. 

When trust is broken, forgiveness is offered instantly by grace; but trust must be re-earned over time.

I'm a sleuth.  I grew up reading Nancy Drew.

Today, Christine, we believe God wants you to know that ...

everything passes.

Nothing is eternal, even the sun will one day disappear. Remember this simple truth whenever you are suffering, - that the suffering too shall pass, - and it will become easier to bear.

December 21

What happens today, December 21, is just an alignment between the winter solstice and the galactic equator due to the tilting on the earth's axis. It is a periodic occurrence that happens every 26,000 years.  The Mayan's "doomsday" prediction came at a time when Rome still believed the earth was the center of the universe, and that the sun revolved around it.

Doomsday or not, I am still so grateful I woke up giggling with my two boys, and I have a God who promised eternity.

My afternoon delight

After a day's work, it is always a relief and a joy to be greeted by a joyful silence, caused by two hiding boys wanting to be found from their nook, and would break out into peals of laughter when I find them.

Then as I change, they would usually ask me -

How was work ma?
How are you ma?
Ma, are you ok?
I love you ma.

I couldn't exchange my two boys for any other.
They are my treasure.
And I would do everything to leave a very good legacy to them, no matter what it takes.

grabe, nakakapikon ka na!

I'm gonna knock on your door
Ring on your  bell
Knock on your window, too

Being a servant of God is incomparable.
As you care for others, you learn to cover your sorrow with a smile.
You learn how to stay vigorous despite all the tasks you endure.
You learn how to give h ope even though yours is not clearly seen.
You learn how to give strength even at times that you are weak.

Isaiah 42:8-9

“I am the Lord; that is my name!
    I will not yield my glory to another
    or my praise to idols.
⁹ See, the former things have taken place,
    and new things I declare;
before they spring into being
    I announce them to you.”

Isaiah 30

¹⁵ This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says:

“In repentance and rest is your salvation,
    in quietness and trust is your strength,
    but you would have none of it.
¹⁶ You said, ‘No, we will flee on horses.’
    Therefore you will flee!
You said, ‘We will ride off on swift horses.’
    Therefore your pursuers will be swift!
¹⁷ A thousand will flee
    at the threat of one;
at the threat of five
    you will all flee away,
till you are left
    like a flagstaff on a mountaintop,
    like a banner on a hill.”

¹⁸ Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you;
    therefore he will rise up to show you compassion.
For the Lord is a God of justice.
    Blessed are all who wait for him!

¹⁹ People of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more.How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you. ²⁰ Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them.²¹ Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” ²² Then you will desecrate your idols overlaid with silver and your images covered with gold; you will throw them away like a menstrualcloth and say to them, “Away with you!”

²³ He will also send you rain for the seed you sow in the ground, and the food that comes from the land will be rich and plentiful.In that day your cattle will graze in broad meadows. ²⁴ The oxenand donkeys that work the soil will eat fodder and mash, spread out with fork and shovel. ²⁵ In the day of great slaughter, when the towers fall, streams of water will flow on every high mountain and every lofty hill. ²⁶ The moon will shine like the sun, and the sunlight will be seven times brighter, like the light of seven full days, when the Lord binds up the bruises of his people and heals the wounds he inflicted.

Rhyss and fractions
Aaron and singing Sirena
Me and the Kuznets curve

Here I stand a child of Yours broken and in need of You
Break these chains and wash my guilt away
Healer of my brokenness, my weary soul will find its rest
You are my strength, the lifter of my head

You're greater than my yesterday, You hold me close today
You're the Lord of my tomorrows, my heart will always say
You're greater than my yesterdays, You hold me close today.

Studying for tomorrow's lecture.  Rhyss studying and texting. Aaron drawing and singing Salidomay in the background.  Great Thursday evening with my bees!

My Aaron knows how to sing Salidomay already! Thanks to Manong Rhyss. =)

Ma'am, congrats po kay Aaron.

Ma'am, tumakbo talaga ang baby niyo?

Ma'am nakita kita sa TV patrol.

Ma'am, ang ganda niyo sa interview.

Ma'am, ang galing niyong mag English during the interview.

Ma'am, artistahin kayo ha.  Ang cute ng anak ninyo.

"We grew apart" is often just a self-justifying excuse for self-centeredness

So right on time...

Today, Christine, we believe God wants you to know that ...

forgiveness is more powerful than revenge.

Vengeance only begets vengeance. It is a destructive cycle. But when you forgive, you inspire change in both yourself and the other. Forgiveness has the power to transform people and create better world for all.

Thank you Lord for surrounding me with women of faith.
Thank you Lord for surrounding me with women of courage and strength.
Thank you Lord for surrounding me with Godly women.

Nothing in life happens to you; it happens for you. 

God wouldn't have allowed it if He did not have a purpose. 

Contentment comes from unconditional love

When you love conditionally, you have to keep deciding if the other is worthy of your love. You can never let go of your guard enough to be content. Why not decide once and for all, and love once and for all. And be content.

Cry no more for the Lord knows your hurts
Weep no more for the Father knows your heart
Rejoice for everything is beautiful in God's time
Be strong, you are not alone.

Celebrating a new year anniversary! My first year anniversary with God, my faithful husband,who never demands, who never accuses, and who never fails.

Thank you Lord for making it so subtle.  Thank you Lord for sparing me from the pain.

I will no longer cry over spilled milk.
God will give me another one, in a glass that is not broken.

Saw this from my niece's post:  If your man asks for a space, it only means, huwag ka munang magulo, mambababae muna ako.

Oh Dear!

My bees (that is how I call my two adorable boys), aged 11 and 3, are the most thoughtful and sweetest boys I've ever known.  Our bed, for some reason, was giving up already.  My husband is currently in another country working. So we are left on our own to mend a "broken bed."

Saturday night when I was fixing the bed,  I found out that it was sagging all the more.  Only to find out yesterday morning that my two boys fixed the bed. They got the hammer and tried to fix it like how their Papa would have done it.  But alas! they were not really able to fix the broken bed.

But then again, as I reflected, I was so honored and so happy that my boys would really take time to do  something extraordinary to help and give me a surprise.

Kids are really a blessing.  And I really have to thank God everyday that I wake up being embraced and hugged by the most wonderful boys!

And yes,  I am praying, that they stay sweet and happy, with the right fear of the Lord, loving God above else, and growing in faith.        

I can't help wishing sometimes that I was a kid again..because skinned knees and bruises are easier to deal with than broken hearts. 

Yet, thank God, for He purges us to be more like Him.  This too shall pass, a new season is coming.  

Because when God said, IT IS FINISHED.  It is indeed done.  He has already won the victory over sin and death.  Jesus overcame.  Jesus won the victory.  

Indeed, He is the author and finisher of my faith.  The best is yet to come!

Thank God for the broken heart..indeed, when I am at my weakest,  there I feel strongest, because God is carrying me at the palm of His hand. 

I am loved by an amazing God!

The reason why I can love freely, and forgive freely, is because I have experienced first hand how it is to be loved unconditionally and how it is to be forgiven without ifs, without conditions, and without keeping tab of the things I did.  

Only God can do that.  

And indeed, He is a promise keeper and a covenant keeper.  

I have been through several storms in my life. And I can say that when I am hit hardest,  it is also at that point where I can say that my joy is at its highest.  I am not crushed.  Because God's love and amazing grace sustains me.  He makes all things beautiful in His time.  

I learned to enjoy the seasons I am in.  Yes...even during the worst storm.  Because God is a big God.  He is bigger than all my concerns, than all my issues,  than all the problems there is.  And when Jesus died on the cross,  He died for all those kinds of problems, too.  He promised that He will allow all these to happen,  but with the assurance that we will not be tested beyond what we can bear, and will only allow us to experience what is common to man.  When Jesus came,  He experienced everything there is to experience and He surpassed them all.  When Jesus rose again,  He has won the victory over sin, over everything.  

So when all things seem so bleak, I trust the heart of the Father.  He has the best plan for me.  

I am an orphan.  I have no Dad and Mom to run to. No Papa to fight for me and protect me.  No Mama to hug me and embrace me. But God is amazing! When He said, I will never leave you nor forsake you, He indeed keeps His promise.  I have no one to run to but God.  And indeed,  He embraces me, and more than that, He gives His joy, His peace, His love and forgiveness.  

My God is an amazing God!

Thank you Lord for I am one day closer to my miracle.

I have seen good days.  And I believe in my heart I will see better days.
Indeed, the best is yet to come!

I am loved by an amazing God!

2 Corinthians 4: 8  We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair. 

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.   

Amaaazing!

Hanggang ngayon di pa rin ako nagbabago???
At hanggang ngayon hindi ka pa rin nagbabago.  Defensive ka pa rin. Ahahahaha.

Yes, forgiving unconditionally.  I choose this.
Because I want to be free.

Yes, I'm still blessed. Even if circumstances say otherwise. I have faith, a new season is coming.  - rianne

Israelites say Goliath is too big to defeat
But David says Goliath is too big of a target to miss.

My ultimate dream is to become a happy, rich, pretty full time wife and mom.  The best is yet to come!